Thursday morning I dropped Asa off at school. I pulled up to the curb and three boys walked in front of the car. They didn't look very happy and I said to Asa, "those boys don't look very happy...especially the boy in white."
Friday morning Ammon called from school to tell me about the assemblies and that Chase Drake committed suicide. Saturday night (or should I say Sunday morning) after we got home from Ironman, Ammon laid with Leo on the floor next to my bed and we talked for a while about Chase Drake and suicide. I guess Chase played soccer a couple of years ago and he's been over to our house a few times. I don't remember this boy.
I got home from my massage tonight and Asa came upstairs and said, "mom, you know when you dropped me off on Thursday and those kids walked in front of the car and you said, 'that kid doesn't look very happy?' well that's the kid who committed suicide on Thursday night."
I have often said that I can feel the sorrow's of people. That I am uncomfortable around crowds because I absorb the sadness like a sponge. But to see the pain of a young man as he walks in front of my car and know that there is something sad about him and then to learn that he committed suicide...
Forty thousand words in the English language and I cannot explain how I fell in this moment. I only know that I am typing through tears.
