The Reality Model is impressive and if applied can bring about positive changes and growth. This is the synopsis of The Reality Model.
"The Reality Model"
According to this analysis, there are five steps to human behavior. Here's the breakdown.
1. Human Needs - We each have four basic human needs.
- To live.
- To love and be loved.
- To feel important.
- Variety.
If we are lacking any one or more of these needs, we may end up trying to fill them in.
File this away. We'll get back to it.
2. Belief Window - We all have beliefs, principles, convictions that determine how we interpret the world.
In his presentation, Hyrum uses an example, "Men are better than women." Another might be, "My self-worth is dependent upon never losing an argument."
3. Rules - These are "If...then..." statements, using the principles in the Belief Window has the premise.
Following on Hyrum's example: "If I get in an argument, then I must win."
4. Behavior Patterns - These are the actions that result from the Rules. Thus, in the example case, "I" can never back down in an argument.
5. Results - Here's the question: Will the results meet my needs over time?
If "I" never back down in an argument, never compromise, never acknowledge someone else's point, then is that making my life better?
Natural Law
Hyrum Smith makes these interesting points:
1 - If the results of your behavior do not meet your needs, then you have an incorrect principle on your belief window.
Your actions are the results of your principles on your Belief Window.
2 - Results take time to measure.
Sometimes it takes years. Look at smoking. Or heavy drinking.
3 - Growth is the process of changing principles on your belief window.
You can't change the behavior if the principles causing that behavior are not addressed. If you believe, "I can't stick with exercise programs," then you can try starting a workout regimen but you probably won't have much success sticking with it. If you believe, "Older women cannot be attractive," and you feel old, then dressing up will feel like an exercise in despair.
4 - Addictive behavior is the result of deep and unmet needs.
When one of your needs is not being met, all your energy goes to filling that need. And if you have a principle on your belief window that is not serving your long-term interests, then odds are good that it's a result of an unmet need.
5 – If your self worth is dependent on anything external then you are in big trouble.
6 – When the results of your behavior do meet your needs over time, you experience inner peace.
Identify what matters most to you, bring the events of your life inline with what matters most to you and you have the right to inner peace.
So drawing from the behavior loops identified above, here are 6 steps to follow:
1 - Identify the behavior patterns.
2 - Identify possible principles driving the behavior.
3 - Predict future behavior based upon those principles.
4 - Identify alternative principles.
5 - Predict future behavior based upon new principle(s).
6 – Compare steps 3 & 5 and ask WHY..do things evolve the way that they do? Because of the principles on our belief window.
Applying The Reality Model to real life is not an easy task. Just identifying the principles can be tough. Figuring out how to change them? That takes determination, desire and commitment. Sometimes it takes years. Sometimes it takes one day at a time.
Hyrum Smith will be doing this same presentation again in August. Click here to follow his blog.
