Day 8 - Playtime Rules

Someone posted this photo on Facebook and I could completely relate so I thought I would add it to this 30 day blogging thing I'm doing.

Street lights didn't come on in Calgary until 11:00pm in the summer. After dinner we ran outside to play. Dad would always come out whistling at us to come home and clean up the kitchen. One time I ran down to the neighbor who was a police officer and asked him to handcuffs my hands together so I wouldn't have to do the dishes. That worked for about 5 minutes.

Mom would sit on the front step watching us run around with the neighborhood kids. We loved to play hide and seek. Whoever was "IT" stood at the street pole counting to 100 then off the seeker would go to find hiders. Sometimes mom would give us hints and quietly point in the direction of a hider.

Daylight until 11:00 meant fun into the late hours of the night. Warm and wonderful skies. Sometimes we even got to see the auroa borealis.

Day 7 - Ten Speed Bike

My ten speed bike was my best friend when I was fifteen. We lived a few blocks from the beautiful Glenmore Reservoir and the destination location of Heritage Park. I would ride my bike there then sit and watch the sunset. Sometimes I left on my bike and would be gone for hours. I rode all around as far as I could. In those days there was no such thing as a helmet. I rode on the main road with the cars speeding by me. And I lived! Imagine that!

Sunset on Glenmore Reservoir

Day 6 - Remember

Immediately after giving birth to Hamilton I was resting on the hospital bed waiting to be taken to my room. Hamilton was all cleaned up and wrapped up like a sausage. Only his cute little face could be seen. Dad held Hamilton out in front of his face. And he said, "welcome to the world my son." Hamilton sneezed.

According to wikipedia - A sneeze is a semi-autonomous, convulsive expulsion of air from the lungs through the nose and mouth, usually caused by foreign particles irritating the nasal mucosa. A sneeze expels air forcibly from the mouth and nose in an explosive, spasmodic involuntary action resulting chiefly from irritation of the nasal mucous membrane. Sneezing can sometime be linked to sudden exposure to bright light. 

Just a few minutes old and the miraculous machine we call a body is at work doing it's job. I remember smiling and thanking my father in heaven for the beauty of this healthy little boy that would be the final curtain for our family.  

Day 5 - Veteran's of War

DOCUTAH and the St. George Vet Center are screening a film this weekend called Souvenirs: Healing After the War. We met yesterday to discuss the logistics of the event. I walked into a room full of war veterans and did not expect to be enlightened the way that I was.

I was surrounded by six people who had experienced combat duty in either Vietnam, Iraq or Afghanistan. The person leading the discussion opened up the conversation and then everyone just spoke freely. At first I just listened but then I realized that I was emotionally impacted by the things that were being said and so I picked up my pen and began to write.

"The whole world seems uncommitted."
"No one wants to take charge."
"When you see something that needs doing...just get it done. Who cares if it doesn't fall into your job description."
"There is so much chaos and disorder. I would rather be there than home."
"I guess I assume to know what other people are thinking about me...I don't fit in...that guy is attacking me."
"I have no patience for anything."
"We had to hate bad enough to make the fight personal. It wasn't about fighting for the country it was about fighting for the guy next to me."
"I am no more alive in my life. If my life isn't on the line then it's not worth living."

At one point in the conversation one of the men turned to me and said, "As a civilian, and I don't mean to offend you, but as a civilian, what questions would you ask."

First of all, I didn't know I was supposed to be offended because I was a civilian. Then I explained to the group that as a civilian I don't know the questions to ask. Given the opportunity I would simply open the conversation with "tell me your story" and then just sit and listen. I haven't experienced what you've experienced so I don't even know what questions to ask. 

While we were supposed to be planning the logistics of the event I walked away enlightened, educated and renewed. The lesson here is to open your heart, mind and soul and be ready for every opportunity to light up your world. See the good and while you feel the pain recognize the joy. 

God is in all things.

Day 4 - The Testimony of My Mother

I suppose I should follow dad's testimony with mom's however mom was very quiet and her testimony illuminated from her soul. Mom didn't really say too much except one time...

I remember when we moved to a new ward in Calgary and the Bishopric came over to visit. We were all gathered in the living room and dad introduced all of us. Somewhere in the conversation mom explained to the Bishopric that she would only accept callings that would include her children. She said she would not hold an administrative position because that would take time away from her first priority which was to be with her children. Mom taught primary and Sunday School but in my growing years she was never a Relief Society, Primary or Young Women President.

Other memories include walking past mom's bedroom and glancing in to find her sitting in a chair reading her scriptures or listening to some peaceful music. There were times on Sunday evening when mom, Moana and I would gather in my bedroom with the LDS hymnal and just turn through the pages singing the hymns that were familiar to us. It was all acapella and it was wonderful. Every time I sing There Is An Hour of Peace and Rest I remember this moment in time.  

Day 3 - The Testimony of My Father

Dad served a full time mission to New Zealand from 1953 - 1955. His mission was nearly three years long. Back then the missionaries learned the native language of Maori and taught the Maori people. Sometimes when dad would bare his testimony in church he would do so in Maori. I didn't understand any of the words he spoke but the spirit of the words pierced my soul. Dad captured my attention with his maori spoken testimony and as he did my eyes welled with tears. Oft times I would look at my brothers and sisters sitting on the row with me. They didn't seem to be all that emotionally attached to the spirit of his words. I am grateful for this memory and for the spirit that was conveyed in the maori spoken testimony of my father.

Day 2 - The Four Agreements

I read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruez for the first time in 2003. It's a small book - basic and simple. While reading it I underlined truth and crossed out those things that contradicted my beliefs. These principles applied to reality can change the life of an individual.

The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Day 1 - My Earliest Memory

At the age of four my parents decided it was time to move from Idaho Falls to Calgary Alberta. I was too young for school and old enough to travel. Dad and I drove to Calgary in the family station wagon. Bits and pieces of this journey flash in and out of my mind. I am laying across the front seat of the car my head on dad's lap. When my eyes are open I see dad's hand on the steering wheel. Feeling safe and secure I close my eyes and sleep. We arrive at the home of people dad knows and spend the night. Sometime later we arrive in Calgary at the home of my Aunt Wyora. Dad would leave me here while he returned to get the rest of the family. I don't remember the length of time but I do remember falling in love with Aunt Wyora. 

I may have thought the journey would be fun when I was back in Idaho but once away from home and the familiar safety of my parents I'm sure I felt anxious. Aunt Wyora created a sense of security for me. I remember following her around long a lost puppy. Where ever she was, I was there. Sitting at the kitchen table while she prepared the meals, sitting in the living room while she dusted the piano, sitting on the laundry room floor while she folded the laundry.

At some point my family arrived in Calgary and we all lived in the same house. A few years later Aunt Wyora passed away. Cancer took the lady I loved. This was my first experience with death. I sat in the pew of the church with my siblings. While I was an emotional wreck they were completely unaffected. At my young age I could not understand why I was so overwhelmed with sorrow and they seemed to feel nothing at all. Now when I look back I see that because I was with her and because she took care of me a bond was created that did not exist for my brothers and sister.   

Fast forward to my teenage years. In my dreams Aunt Wyora visited me. We walked and talked in her garden and as we did she advised me on healthy eating habits and taking care of my body. While I had spent a few young years with her I was now a teenager having life like experiences in my dreams. I took her advise literally, ate healthy, exercised and stayed away from the evil temptations of alcohol, drugs and smoking.

Recently, in my nutrition class I learned that the treatment of our bodies in our teenage years determines the health of our bodies in the adult years. I am grateful for Aunt Wyora, for coming to me from her post mortal existence and for the faith to believe in her wisdom.   

JOY THROUGH EDUCATION

We don’t receive wisdom. Wisdom must be discovered. With wisdom comes enlightenment and with enlightenment comes peace and joy. The famous scripture “man is that he might have joy” should be rephrased to say that “man is that he might be worthy of joy”.  We come into joy through use of agency and the experience that comes through choice.

Because we are spirits having a human experience, life as we know it is a spiritual journey. But there are times when the experience of life hits you like a spiritual orgasm and you are left feeling a deep connection to your Heavenly home. A true spiritual journey is to go in search of purpose and meaning. But most times a spiritual journey is not a planned adventure. The beginning of the journey can come through a phone call, a message, a letter, a dream, or just “the last straw”. My most recent spiritual journey has a twofold beginning.

I used to think that a formal education was unnecessary. As a young girl out of high school I didn’t see the need for higher learning and choose a different path. Thirty years and six children later I enrolled in college. At first it wasn’t something I wanted to do. I entered because my employer requires the status of a Bachelor’s Degree in order to hire me as a full time employee.

My first semester of school followed the summer of Ammon’s accident. Tuesday July 26, 2011 late in the evening I received the phone call a mother should never receive. The familiar sound of the ringtone that tells me Ammon is calling broke the silence. Without even looking at the phone I answered and said, “Hello Ammon.” A foreign voice spoke into my ear, “This is not Ammon this is Matt. I’m here in Flagstaff with your son. He was in an accident.”

Ammon’s accident combined with my formal education has taken me on an unplanned spiritual journey.

One of the first classes I took was Philosophy. I had heard and been warned many times that taking a philosophy class could destroy my testimony and belief in God. I challenged the rumors and jumped in.

The first assignment was to read Schopenhauer’s On Thinking for Oneself. I learned the contrast between nurture and nature. To be nurtured is to learn through experience. As a parent I must teach my children the truths they need to know for their future success. Schopenhauer said that, “A man cannot turn over anything in his mind unless he knows it; he should, therefore, learn something. Thinking must be kindled…it must be sustained by some interest in the matter at hand.”

We exist therefore we think, but we must study and learn in order to make the most of our thoughts. Schopenhauer promotes thinking for oneself but also explains that nurture and nature work together. He says, “Thinkers and men of genius are those who have gone straight to the book of Nature; it is they who have enlightened the world and carried humanity further on its way. If a man’s thoughts are to have truth and life in them, they must, after all, be his own fundamental thoughts; for these are the only ones that he can fully and wholly understand.

That was my introduction to Philosophy by Doctor Hyrum LaTurner and in this first lesson I was reminded that I have the right to think for myself and therefore can question the philosophies that I would learn in this class.

As time went on we are introduced to many philosophers and then we were introduced to the philosophy of Nietzsche which was that “Science killed God”. As science has evolved God has become obsolete.

There were many occasions in class where I would connect with “nature” through prayer and instantly ask, “is this philosophy true and if not then guide me to what is truth so that I can embrace my own fundamental thoughts.” The study of science killing God was one of those spiritual orgasms that forced me to embrace truth and connect with Heaven.

As Professor LaTurner taught I thought about my personal experience.

When I was told that Ammon was near death and would be going into surgery without a family member or friend anywhere present I said to Matt, “We are LDS. Is there someone in the hospital that can give him a Priesthood blessing?” Peaceful words of comfort filled my being when Matt said to me that he was LDS and could perform the blessing and the helicopter pilot would be able to assist. I spent the next five hours and infact the next six weeks in prayer. I prayed to God that He would send angels to guide the hand of the Doctors so that Ammon could be healed.

The philosophy of Nietzsche was that science had replaced God but in my own fundamental thoughts that I learned through personal experience, it was clear that God and science work together. One cannot exist without the other. The universe in which we exist could not magically appear through a “Big Bang”. God needed science to create the universe and all of the elements of science needed a creator to organize the matter.

Clearly Nietzsche was mistaken and most probably recognizes that in his post mortal existence.

That was the beginning of an ongoing spiritual journey. I continue with the pursuit of my formal education and each day I feel the presence of angels guiding the process of fundamental thought. Day after day I see the value of this thing called education and recognize that everything I learn I get to keep.

This educational journey is challenging in every way possible and in this challenge I am finding my greatest joy.

THE BIRD BUILDS IT'S NEST

To My Children

I have come from Sacrament meeting with Grandpa and Grandma. In one of the talks given the women mentioned a common Haitian phrase that means “little by little the bird builds its nest.” It reminded me of something I read in my book As A Man Thinketh/Eight Pillars of Prosperity while eating breakfast this morning. I actually had the book with me in church and picked it up to reread the passage and as I did I realized that it was something I wanted to share with my family. So I am doing that now before I get on the road to St. George.

“A hundred yards away is a tall tree in the top of which some enterprising rook has, for the first time, built its nest. A strong northeast wind is blowing, so that the top of the tree is swayed violently to and fro by the onset of the blast; yet there is no danger to the frail thing of sticks and hair, and the mother bird, sitting upon her eggs, has no fear of the storm. Why is this? It is because the bird has instinctively built her nest in harmony with principles which ensure maximum strength and security.

“First a fork is chosen as the foundation for the nest, and not a space between two separate branches, so that however great may be the swaying of the tree-top, the portion of the nest is not altered, nor its structure disturbed; then the nest is built on a circular plan so as to offer the greatest resistance to any external pressure, as well as to obtain more perfect compactness within, in accordance with its purpose; and so, however the tempest may rage, the birds rest in comfort and security.

“This is a very simple and familiar object, and yet, in the strict obedience of its structure to mathematical law, it becomes, to the wise, a parable of enlightenment, teaching them that only by ordering one’s deeds in accordance with fixed principles is perfect surety, perfect security, and perfect peace obtained amid the uncertainty of events and the turbulent tempests of life.”

This analogy motivates me to embrace my testimony of truth, my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. There are principles which govern the gospel. Just as the bird followed natural instinct and obeyed mathematical law, so we must be obedient to the principles of truth.

I recognize that each of you will come to your testimony through your own process but I also recognize that I have the privilege of being the mother of children who know and recognize truth. I believe in you and await the day when all six of you will embrace eternal truths. There you will find, as the bird sitting in her nest, perfect surety, perfect security and perfect peace.

I love you all. See you soon.

MOM